Neon Lights and Vegas Nights
by Lolerskatez
Summary: When in Rome, do as the Romans do. When in Vegas, get drunk and get married. AkuRoku
1. Wedding

**Disclaimer! **I don't own Kingdom Hearts. Otherwise, Castle Oblivion would've been a strip club. 8Db

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**Prompt One;; Wedding**

They say that what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

… However, they also say that to a loser, Las Vegas is the meanest town on Earth.

And if your name was Roxas Hainsworth, you just happened to be that loser. You'd wake up every morning—alone, I might add—in your home in Middle of Nowhere, Indiana, get in your craptastic car and go to your job at Nobody Cares, Incorporated, sit in your cubicle and get heckled by your boss, The Douche-inator, and then go back home with minimum wage only to get a call from your mother telling your life was going nowhere and you needed to make more money if you ever wanted to settle down with a nice girl and—

Well, you get the point. Basically, this kid was the epitome of "Life's a bitch!"

So how does Vegas tie into Roxas's life? It all started with an unexpected phone call.

_Briiing! Briiing! Click!_

"Hello?" A groggy voice answered into the chipped phone.

"_Yo, R-dizzle! It's Sorizzle!_"

"Sora, I refuse to talk to you if you're going to act like that."

"_Geez, fine. You're such a big palooka, you know that?_"

"What do you want, Sora?"

"Some_body woke up on the wrong side of the bed today_."

"It's 4:37 in the morning. Talk or I'm going back to slee—"

"_Want an all-expenses paid trip to Las Vegas?_"

Roxas's end of the line went silent. By now, the blonde was wide awake, eyes bright and heart pumping as he held the phone to his ear.

"… What's the catch?" He asked suspiciously.

"_Nothing!_" Sora said cheerfully. "_You just have to fill in for me at work_." Anything was better than Roxas's job. _Anything_.

"Deal. See you in six hours."

"_Wait, don't you want to know—!_"

_Click_.

_Beeeeeeeeeeeeep…_

Sora scratched his head and silenced the dial tone by closing his mobile and pocketing it.

Twelve hours later (because planes _never_ get there at the time they tell you), Roxas was standing in a Las Vegas airport, a lonely suitcase the only symbol of his previous life as an Indiana nobody.

_If Sora ditched me, I swear I'm gonna castrate somebody,_ the blonde thought to himself, searching the crowds for brown spikes, a familiar face, _something_.

"Hey, you Roxas?"

The blonde turned around, a relieved smile on his face. "God, Sora, for a minute there, I thought you forgot—" The grin fell from Roxas's boyish face when it wasn't Sora he was looking at, but rather, a very manly chest attached to very womanly hips.

… _What the fu—_

"Sorry to burst your bubble, blondie," he said (it was definitely a man, Roxas concluded; no woman in their right mind would ever speak if they had a voice as manly as this guy's). "But I ain't Sora."

"W-wait," Roxas said, taken aback by this stranger. "How do you know my name? And who _are_ you?"

The redhead just smirked. "Name's Axel," he said, leaning forward. "A-X-E-L. Got it memorized? And I work with Sora." Axel gave him a once over. "Damn, you guys brothers or something? You're like his carbon copy or something."

"Twins," Roxas corrected. "But that doesn't matter right now. Where's Sora?"

"Tch, so needy…" Axel shook his head in a disapproving manner, only to be contradicted by the leer still present on his lips. "He's off on vacation, and if what he told me is right, you're filling in for him."

Roxas blinked. _Vacation…?_ His mind had gone blank, save for that one word.

"… Hey, blondie, you alright? You look like you're about to—"

"_THAT BITCH! I'M GOING TO KILL HIM! WITH A RUSTY NAIL!_" To say that Roxas was seething would be an understatement. To say that he looked like he was about to eat Sora's first-born (should he ever have one) would be closer.

"Chill, blondie, you're causing a scene!" Axel, looking anxious, nervous, embarrassed, and just _scared_ all that the same time, gave up trying to calm him down and just picked him up like a cardboard cut-out, threw him over his back, and proceeded walking out of the terminal and into the company car that was waiting for them.

"You okay now?" Axel asked, thirty minutes into the car ride. "You gonna blow up again or can I try and have an intelligible conversation with you?"

A sigh escaped Roxas's lips. "I'm sorry. I just got mad."

Axel snorted. "Damn straight."

"I'm just tired of Sora making me do his dirty work so he can go off and have fun," the blonde said, oblivious to the mischievous glint in Axel's eyes and the secretive grin that had formed on his face.

"Well, who says you won't have _fun_ where me and Sora work?" The redhead asked, deception clear in his tone. "Sure, there's gonna be some _dirty_ work, but hey! You just might like it."

Roxas paled. "Oh, dear God, please don't tell me he works—"

"—At a porn hut," the blonde said defeated when they pulled up to the brightly lit club on the Las Vegas stretch.

"We prefer the term male dancers, thank you very much," Axel said, getting out of the car. "And I wouldn't be complaining; starting today, you're one of us."

_... Remind me to castrate Sora when he comes back_.

The day passed painfully slowly as Roxas was shown the ropes. He met Marluxia, an effeminate dominatrix-type; Saix, a SM specialist, much to Roxas's dismay; and Lexaeus (Roxas didn't even _want_ to know what that steroid-overdosing meathead did).

"It's not that bad," Demyx, the DJ, said, patting the blonde's back as they sat on the stage. It was noon, meaning the club wouldn't be open for another ten hours, so the club was virtually empty.

"I'm half-naked in a porn house with a bunch of masochistic and possibly gay men. Oh, and not to mention I've been conned into working here." Roxas buried his face in his hands. "Name one good thing that's come out of this," he said, his voice muffled.

"Well, at least you're toned. I mean, Sora had nice arms, but _you!_ You could give Saix a run for his money with that chest—"

"Demyx."

"Yes?"

"Please stop stroking me suggestively. It's making me very uncomfortable."

"Ahahaha, sorry~" Demyx cooed, pulling away coyly. "Sometimes I can't help myself. It's like my hands have a mind of their own~" He said, running his fingers up and down Roxas's arm.

"Demyx, stop molesting the newbie. He'll quit and then we'll have to call Sora back from New York. Do you _really_ want to deal with that? Come on, blondie, let's go get some drinks."

"Gladly," Roxas said, jumping up from his seat next to the DJ and running to the side of the now shirtless Axel.

Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald once said that "First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you." That would explain how and why Roxas woke up the next day, head pounding, to a coffee drinking, newspaper reading, bespectacled Axel who uttered the famous words;

"Morning, _wife_."

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**A/N: **Would it be wrong to say I enjoyed writing that just a _little_ too much? x] This one's for Light Within Darkness, so I hope that so far, this has lived up to your expectations! 8D


	2. Contradict

**Disclaimer! **I don't own Kingdom Hearts. Which is sad, because if I did, RIKU WOULDN'T BE SO FREAKING HARD TO BEAT IN CHAIN OF MEMORIES. ... That is all. 8D

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**Prompt Two;; Contradict**

"W-_wife??_" The blonde sputtered, falling out of the bed. "But… but how?? Why?? Nyeh!" He whined, flailing his arms wildly (as if _that_ was going to do anything).

"Well," Axel said sitting down on the bed, newspaper under arm and coffee mug in hand, "long story short, you and me got plastered, turns out we got a lot in common, next thing you know, bada-bing, bada-boom, you've got soup."

"NOW IS _NOT_ THE TIME TO BE COMPARING MARRIAGE TO A WATER-BASED FOOD PRODUCT!!"

"Don't get your panties in a knot; it's just a saying," Axel scratched the back of his head. "No wonder you're the wife; you're just as hormonal and bitchy as any girl I've ever been with."

"Deep breaths, Roxas," the shorter blonde said, not listening to his companion. "It'll all be okay! You just gotta get this annulled and—Hey, wait a second!" He whipped around to face the redhead. "Gay marriage isn't even _legal_ in Nevada!"

"Elvis must've thought one of us was a chick, then." Axel took a sip of his coffee and motioned the mug towards Roxas. "You want some? There's still some left in the pot."

"We're freaking _married_," he said, looking at Axel incredulously. "And you're asking me if I want _coffee?_ And why am _I _girl?? You have the hips! I mean, just look at those things! You could kill a man with—"

"Fine then, if you're going to be whiny about everything. That just means more for me—"

"Two crèmes, no sugar, and if you even think about putting any milk in it, I'll castrate you."

"Keep talking like that, and you just might be in for a second honeymoon, wife."

"… On second thought, scratch the coffee, I'll just castrate you anyway."

"AHA! I _KNEW _IT!"

"You know, for a lightweight, you're pretty loud the morning of a hangover," Axel said, rubbing his temples. Roxas wasn't listening and instead chose to shove a piece of paper into the redhead's chartreuse eyes.

"Do you know what this is, Axel?" Roxas asked mischievously. "Because I know, and I think it'll rock your world once I tell you, but I'm not _going_ to tell you. Do you know why Axel? Because I want you to suffer, that's right _suffer_! Bwahahahaha—!" Axel promptly slapped the blonde across the face with one hand and snatched the paper with the other hand.

"Let's see," he said, putting on his glasses to read the fine print. "This license will authorize any licensed clergymen within this state… Blah blah blah… Hold it, the groom's name is _Roxas Hainsworth?_ That means…" Axel blinked, his mind not registering the black ink print in front of him. "… Oh, _hell_ no. There's no way I'm the wife. Not with this pansy around." He seemed to be talking more to himself than to the twitching and unintelligibly sputtering Roxas who was coiled up on the floor. For the rest of the day (as it was Sunday, and Porno Hut, as Roxas affectionately called it, was closed), the smirk never left the blonde's face. He had just successfully one upped someone for the first time in his life, and it felt _amazing_. But of course, Axel, being Axel, wouldn't stand for that; he'd take things into his own hands.

"I'm the husband~ I'm the husband~" Roxas sang, skipping around Axel in circles just to piss him off.

"You getting tired yet, blondie?" He asked, rubbing his temples. "You've been at if for, what, four hours now?"

"Quiet, wife! I'm the husband here!"

"So, you accept our marriage?" Axel asked grabbing the blonde by the arm and pulling him into his chest. "I knew you'd come around." A long finger caressed the side of Roxas's boyish face (which was now a lovely shade of Oh-shit-oh-shit-he's-_touching-meeeee! _red)

"N-no!" Roxas stuttered, trying to regain the upper hand he'd just lost. "I hate it! I hate being your husband!"

"So you don't want to be the husband? You want to be the wife?"

"NO!"

Axel smirked. Victory was in sight. He bent down and let his breath tickle the blonde's now cherry red ear.

"You contradict yourself, _darling_."

Axel: 1. Roxas: K.O.

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**A/N: **Fun fact about Roxie: She takes bribes.

So everyone who was waiting for this to update, please thank KagomeStar125 and my lack of morals for this quicky update. I will see you lovely people of … IN THE NEXT CHAPPIE! 8Db

…

Oh, and anyone else think that I've made Roxas a total spazz? Yeah. Woo. 8D


	3. Willing

**Disclaimer! **My fellow fangirls (and boys!), if I owned Kingdom Hearts, all of this would've been canon by now.

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**Prompt Three;; Willing**

Willing: (_adj_.) the state of accepting by choice or without reluctance.

Roxas: 1. (_n_) one that is legally the husband in a patriarchal community, and therefore should be in control, but is actually subjugated to extreme maritodespotism. (Read: He may wear the pants, but _"she" _controls the zipper.) 2. (_adj_.) the state of being the complete _opposite_ of willing because that stupid ginger and his woman hips keep teasing you to the point where you think you might just—

Maybe that's too specific.

Basically, Roxas was at his breaking point. The whispered sweet nothings and occasional caresses, he could deal with, but_ this_—oh, he was going to _kill_ if this went on any longer.

"Hey, stud, look at me. I'm the one paying for your time, here, not Shirley Temple over there." The feminine hand of Roxas's patron grabbed Roxas's jaw and forced him to avert his gaze from "Shirley Temple", who was currently working his magic on the girl next to him (who was about as red as his hair, I might add).

"Yeah, yeah…" The blonde muttered, obviously grumpy. The young woman sat there, arms crossed, waiting for something to spark. But alas, Roxas was too far gone for even the deathly rage of woman to scare him back to reality.

"… You know what? I think I'll just take my money elsewhere, _thank you very much_!" She snapped, picking up her bag and hustling out of the building as she muttered unintelligible (but obviously angry) words to herself.

_Ugh… She's sucha hoochie… bimbo… slutface!_ Roxas thought to himself, back to staring intently at the girl in Axel's lap, having forgotten all about his work that needed to be done. What was Axel's deal, anyway? Sure, they got married while they were plastered, but that didn't mean the vows didn't exist! They were still there, and he should respect that, damnit!

…

_Did I really just think that?_ Roxas thought to himself, momentarily stunned. He grimace, internalizing his thoughts on what the Las Vegas lifestyle had done to his sober thoughts.

"Do it," came a voice. The blonde flew a few inches off the seat, ready to unleash his Fail-Fu on the sneaky bastard that had startled him.

"Chill out, Bruce Lee, it's me!" Demyx said, holding his hands in front of him in a precautionary manner. "Don't go all ninja on me!"

Roxas's breathing slowed down as he lowered his arms. "Sorry 'bout that… Guess I'm a little jumpy."

Demyx snorted. "More like checking out that stud's package," he said, glancing over at the redhead. "What I wouldn't do for a piece of _that_ beefcake…"

"Back off!" The younger blonde barked, barely having time to think before the phrase erupted from his mouth. Demyx blinked at him, all innocence and rainbows.

… That image was completely shattered by the perverted smile that formed on the older blonde's face.

"So, you do like your marriage between you and Sugar Tits over there," he said with a smirk.

"Wh-what??" Roxas stuttered, involuntarily falling backwards. "N-no! Of course not! I… I just—!"

"You know I make you tight in the pants, husband."

A shadow loomed over the younger blonde. Looking up, cerulean orbs met chartreuse as a pink blush formed on the smaller man's face. Said smaller man's face flushed into a bright red blush as the taller man's lips claimed Roxas's as his own in a show of dominance and lust. As Axel lifted his head, he opened his eyes to see a shocked expression on Roxas's face, his kiss-swollen lips forming a perfect "o". The redhead just smirked; this kid was eating out of the palm of his hand now. Roxas just blinked, his frozen form finally remembering how to form coherent sentences again.

"… You better not think you're stopping there."

Willing: (adj.) the state of accepting by choice or without reluctance.

Roxas: 1. (n) one that is legally the husband in a patriarchal community, and therefore should be in control, but is actually subjugated to extreme maritodespotism. (Read: He may wear the pants, but she controls the zipper.) 2. (adj.) the state of being completely and totally willing to your _"wife",_ Axel.

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**A/N: **I am SOOOO sorry this is so late! I mean, February?? Really?? No one hands out **Christmas** presents then. Dx Still, I hope you like it anyway, Light Within Darkness! 8D


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